Thanking Mom

This has been a crazy month but I wanted to try to get in as much as I can.

Mother's Day is the time when we all realize how truly special our relationships with our mothers are. Not only would I have probably gone back to school to be a teacher, but had enough faith in myself to reach for my goals. Each person has a different type of relationship with their mom, but that is what makes all of feel we have "the best mom ever."
My mother is far away from me in distance but very close in my heart. I think about her everyday and think about what she has taught me throughout my life. I wish I was distance wise closer to her, but her relationship has strengthened me to be able to be up in Connecticut further from my family knowing that they truly love me and care for me no matter what happens.
My mom has been with me my whole life, and I know she will continue to be. This year I was able to make her a special Mother's Day Brunch and just show her hopefully that she has impacted me in more ways then she will ever know.

I love you mom!

Graduation

In 2008, when I participated in graduation... I thought there was no way I would go back to school. I was ready for a new career, a new lifestyle, and I thought I had spent enough time in a classroom. Little did I know that in 3 years I would be back in the classroom and 4 years later I would be back in Gampel Pavilion receiving another degree.

Getting my Masters was different.. I had more on the line, I had gone back to school for myself and not just because everyone goes to college or higher education. I wanted to change my career, and pretty much my track for the rest of my life. It was special in terms of I really figured out what I wanted to do with my life and how I wanted to actually be in a classroom for the rest of my life :)

As I sat around some of my best friends that I have met, and looked up at my family there, I realized that education is something that everyone has to pursue themselves, and cannot always be pushed upon you. As I embark on a career as an educator myself, I have fully realized that one person can only push students so far, there has to be that drive in them to explore and learn on their own. And when that is found then there can be true knowledge learned.

It was hard to give up what I had to go back to school, but my advice to anyone thinking about it, if you are driven and you know it is what you want, do not let anything get in your way. Your time is short and you should take advantage of any opportunity you have.

Now to my classmates, the future of Educators and anyone else graduating this May... take this new step of your life in stride. Understand that things might not always go the way you planned, but we all will get to where we want to be as long as you stay focused and driven. Conrgats on your accomplishments, to me I hope to see my name outside a middle school classroom come August. We will see where the summer takes me :)

Wonderful Friends

Over the last 11 months I have learned a lot about myself, education, and the pursuit of a perfect lesson plan (still not sure they are out there). But one thing I have learned, is that friends really do make so many crazy times that much better.

This post is dedicated to my lovely TCPCG Group 1 loves out there, representing in 2012. The 16 of you have been everything I have needed to get me through this program. Supporting mothers, mentors, crucial criticizers, comedians, entertainment, and a friendly familiar face each and everyday. Everyday when I pulled into the parking lot and walked upstairs to the 4th floor of the library, I knew that no matter what I was feeling prior to that moment that things would get better. From the inside jokes, the silly nicknames, the funny drama that continues, and the lovely working lunches... we shared very special times. 

I have always had good friends, and I love each of them dearly,  but to share this type of experience with people who really got to know me and I trusted was even more special. I did not have to worry about making a fool of myself in front of you, or bombing a lesson. We grew together and that is what made our bond even more special. When you go through a program that is as rigorous and time consuming as this was, you have to have those friends and classmates that make it worth doing, that give you the extra push to put in that little bit more extra effort you did not think you had. 

As we finished up our last bits of this program today, I really got to see the growth of everyone and the real love we have for each other. Listening to each other as now professionals and educators, instead of just these new faces in an unfamiliar place. We congratulated each other on a great job, complimented designs, and aww'ed at amazing work. I knew we all had it in us, it just was getting polished for awhile.

Thank you TCPCG Group 1 for really showing me that everything is always better when you have a friend to go through it with. I would never take back any of our days over the last 11 months, and know we will have more to come. We will continue to hang out this summer, share stories of first days of school, and even collaborate in schools together (HOPEFULLY!!).

Congrats TCPCG Group 1, we did it! 16 of my best friends, the future educators of the world! Now let's celebrate! (Well until we celebrate each time one of us finds a job!!!!)

Let's Talk about ME!

It is pretty funny, of everyone in the world you feel like you know yourself the best, but sometime show are you supposed to tell someone else about yourself while still being professional?

That is my new big problem these days as I finish up school. JOB APPLICATIONS! You are a name, a sheet of paper in a stack of others, and some how you have to make it so your name POPS and your information is picked up.

I have struggled to figure out how to balance this. I do not want to be cocky but I want to be confident about my skills and my work ethics. I really want the administration to see something in me that I know is there.

As much as we all can talk about ourselves with friends and with family, to talk about what you think or believe in is even harder. You have to be comfortable with it and confident but at the same time not act like you are correct or the best always. You might feel it, and it is fine to have confidence in yourself but it is a balance. I don't want to leave too much off an impression that it is a turn off but enough to make them want to know me more.

Job applications are rough, and the waiting is even more painful. You triple think over everything that you submitted and wrote. Hopefully int he next couple weeks I will have some positive phone calls. I cannot wait to start this next part of my life!

Final Push

It is funny, the month of April is usually one of my favorite, but this year it is a struggle.

The weather in New England in April has been crazy, and that does not help situations. I just got off of a week where I worked 5 days in a row, for me working part-time right now that is a lot. Especially when during the day, it was gorgeous out and I wanted to just stay outside playing games and having a picnic. Today we get close to 90 and as it is the last two weeks of school, I sit here struggling to find motivation.

As much as I hated it earlier, having to have a lot of my thesis already written has been a nice bonus. I felt not as overwhelmed trying to piece together the last section, but it is still not perfect. I also have no motivation to sit down and study for tests that I do not want to take and feel that should not really count to my overall readiness to be a teacher. Those type of "assessments" are what I hate to think about as a future teacher, one little paper that can make or break you. What does it really do? Show if you handle anxiety well, show if you can cram and regurgitate information well? All I know is it needs to be done with!

I am planning graduation, and my summer, as I continue to look for jobs. It is a crazy market. The uncertainty of the next couple of months of my life are something I hate. I like knowing what is going on and what will happen. This is just not something that is in my comfort zone, so I feel every night I go to bed restless with uncertainty and scary thoughts of not having a job, what to do in August if I do not have a classroom. These thoughts I don't like to think, but I must be realistic at times too.

I know I still have two weeks of school and three till graduation, but that seems a lot closer then when I first started this program almost 12 months ago! Where has time gone, a lot has happened since then. But I am ready to tackle these next 2 weeks, even if I have to pull myself from being outside with a good book and a nice cool drink. Enjoy the "summer weather" New Englanders.... hopefully if you see me out there make sure I have my work done first!!

I can do it!

Job Fairs

Yesterday I went to my first job fair. Even though I am starting my second career, I never went to one when I was an Undergraduate. I knew it was going to be stressful, but wow.. I was EXHAUSTED at the end of the day! Between dressing the part, being prepared, and walking through a mass of other potential candidates, I didn't know if I would make the drive home.

All of my TCPCGers looked amazing! We dress up nicely don't we?

In turn, I learned that it is hard sometimes to just talk about yourself when there are so many other people the person has talked to. It is hard to come up with original things to explain at each booth. It is also hard to hold your bag and portfolio for 3 hours!
I did not get an interview yesterday, but I learned a lot of valuable lessons. I saw my cohort and I grow and blossom and I found out how ready I am to be a teacher!
Hopefully the next couple days I will have some calls about interviews or other items, but I am starting to feel one step closer to the future Ms. McG's classroom!

Disappointment

Life isn't always smiles and laughter. There are times when things are just not what you wanted or not something that ends up helping you out in life. You cannot control everything. I know there are many people who would love to be able to, but it is not physically possible.

How we handle this disappointment is a true description of how you hold yourself up. You are allowed to feel upset or sad for a certain amount of time, but all experiences in life can be educational moments. If you are disappointed in a relationship, think about what happened and how you can be different or approach the situation different if it occurs again. If it is an outcome of a test, think about what you could do differently when you take it again.

I have had my share of disappointments in life. Not always small disappointments but sometimes things that make your course of life even change. Our life is full of decisions, one way or the other. You cannot tell which one is the way you "should" go but you will learn something either direction you choose. You always have to choose, and live with the decision you made.

Disappointment though is hard to go through when it happens, but you always have to remember there are more days down the road. There will be chances for redemption and I think that it shows a bigger person to learn from the experience and make the necessary changes for it to become a more successful time the next time. When life gets you down, you are worth getting yourself back up and dusting off the disappointment. You will feel a lot better when you do. It isn't easy, it isn't fun, but it is motivational when you see the brighter side or the chances you have now given yourself.

For me, disappointment is in all forms. With school, work, relationships, job hunts, etc. But there is a song that always helps me think about getting through it. "Hold on" by Wilson Phillips is a great song to think about moving on to another day, even if it seems like you are struggling to get yourself up. You can also turn to "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson too, both songs will always help you out when you are down.

Just remember, there is always another chance to prove yourself and pick yourself up. I know all of you out there know what I mean with disappointment and that everyone has had their share of it. Use your supports to help, that is what they are there for. Remember though, you can make it through!